A Damn Good Idea

I don't know

If it's because 2000 miles

Separated us

For the last 8 years

But I still expect

To be able

To pick up the phone

And hear your voice

I stare at your picture

Or write on your page

Willing you to

Still be alive

And laughing

Smiling

Crying

Believing

In me

In our calling

In the God we served

In Love being Bigger

Deeper

Wider

and Stronger

Than anything life can throw at us

I'll never forget picking up the phone

The day you called and asked me to come work with you

I don't know if it was because you wanted my help

Or because you thought I needed yours

But it was a damn good idea

Notice

In a funk. Since December 14th.

Hope to find words again soon.

Of Cardinals and Soccer Medals

I'm not sure if I have a "theology" about this or not. In fact, Rob and I discussed it briefly the other night in reference to the pigeon that joined the kickoff team for the Philadelphia Eagles a couple of weeks ago. One of the players claimed that the pigeon was the spirit of a former teammate who had died during the offseason.

I'm not willing to go so far as to claim that such sightings are the spirit of someone, but I sure as heck have been comforted by animals from time to time, that represent in one way or another someone to me who used to be with us. So what do I believe? Who knows and who really cares? The point is, it happens and we are comforted.

This morning, Austin and I were working on his homework in the living room. I looked up just in time to see the brightest red cardinal land on a tree branch outside the window. I have always associated redbirds with my mom. Whether she liked them as much as I remember her liking them is probably irrelevant... it's just part of her in my memory. Anyway, this redbird shows up outside and I immediately think of Mother. I point it out to Austin. "Mom, it's gorgeous!"

I smile and think how much she would have enjoyed him.

As if on cue, Austin climbs up on the couch that backs up to the window and proudly shows his newly acquired soccer medal to the cardinal. I don't know why, maybe it's just a six-year-old thing; but I promise the bird turned and looked at him. Tears well up in my eyes as he has his own make-believe conversation with the bird. He has no idea what I'm thinking...

Cool, comforting, and amazing moment.

Hello October!

The leaves are changing. The Sox are in the playoffs. Soccer and cross country are well underway. Kindergarten is fun and 8th grade is smooth sailing (so far!). And the Patriots are trying to figure things out. Welcome to October!

I posted on FaceBook that October is paradoxical. At least it is for me. There are a lot of sad anniversaries for me in this month, yet so many fun things happen during this time. The cool, crisp autumn air makes everything seem so alive, yet it is quick to remind us of the upcoming winter months that lie ahead. The Sox playoff run brings hope of another World Series, yet... well, who knows?

I'm digging in to try and publish a collection of devotionals that I've written. Right now, I'm just trying to figure out the best way to do that. I've promised Austin that we'll decorate for Halloween tomorrow while Dad is at the Patriot's game. And, as always, the house needs cleaning! So we're in for a busy weekend, even though the games all got rained out for today.

Happy first weekend of October everyone!

Jesus Was Right... Today Does Have Enough Troubles of Its Own ;-)

Austin begins kindergarten today.

And I'm the one who is as nervous as a cat!

The moment of truth will be when the school bus comes. I don't know if he will get on with a smile and a wave; or if he will stop, cling, and I'll have to take him to school and peel him off at the door. I'm really praying for the first option. I want a peaceful parting.

Then I can worry about all the other things...

Good News for a Change

There's just too much bad news hitting the fan all the time it seems. So today, I have to shout out the good stuff...

A friend of mine who has boys that are friends of Austin's just found out that a biopsy came back benign. Yes! Yes!! YES!!!

Gotta celebrate that.

The Morning Of

I am sitting in a darkened hotel room, with Austin sleeping in the bed. Rob and Robbo are in the lobby eating breakfast. It is 5:38 a.m.

In less than 3 hours, Robbo will run the 1500M race at the AAU Jr Olympics. He has been training for this for months. He has been waiting for this for over a year. His body is prepared; I hope I have done my part in preparing him emotionally.

He is only thirteen. I am forty-three. This is a big race, a national race, no matter what age you are. But I have years with me, I have perspective. He is a young teenager, every day is bigger than life. Every race defines you.

Which is why I have (I should more accurately say "we," as in his dad and I) kept telling him to "have fun," and "do your best." It's why we remind him that "all athletes have good days and bad days." It's the reason we are quick to point out the examples of great athletes coming back from poor performances.

I want him to succeed more than anyone. But I guess it's only parental nature to want to help prepare him for any falls along the way. I want him to know that he is good enough no matter what. That he doesn't have to run fast or get good grades or score a lot of points or anything like that to be someone special or to be loved. Just being himself is enough.

So go, Robbo. Go and run this morning. Run knowing that you are loved by God and by us...